What I’ve Learned about Women’s Unhappiness

by | Sep 16, 2019 | Articles, Happiness, Mental Health, Self Care

Women are unhappy…

Are you surprised to know that for the last 30 years women’s happiness has been on a steady decline? Of all the wonderful advances in our modern world, women are feeling more stressed, more tired and under more pressure than ever before.

Let’s face it, women today wear a lot of hats. They have work stress, manage the household, raise kids and care for friends and family. Is it any wonder women are on the brink of burn out?

Women are worn out and broken hearted…

Instead of feeling liberated, modern women are feeling worn out, confused and unsure of making decisions. They feel like their heart has been broken once too often, and even wonder if they are going crazy. And you can even throw in a bit of guilt here too, because shouldn’t you be feeling amazing when you have so much?

Women are eating and drinking more than they would like…

To try to manage these feelings, women are eating more than they would like and drinking more than they would like. They are feeling unsure of themselves and unsure how to fix the broken relationships they are in. They are avoiding social situations and are letting others treat them badly because, somehow, they think it must be their fault.

Women think it’s their fault…

But here’s the thing. It’s not all your fault. You are not responsible for everyone. You are only responsible for yourself. And when you take responsibility for everyone else, you are going to feel stressed and unhappy, because is too big a job. It will drain all your energy leaving you exhausted.

Women let their emotional tank run dry…

One of the first steps to start feeling good about life again, is to care for yourself.

Think of it this way, people have an emotional tank. When it is full, you are much more resilient and able to cope with all that life throws them, but when it runs dry you come up short. Your emotional tank is much like the fuel tank in your car, it needs to be refuelled. The difference is we tend to ignore the red light on our emotional tank, but we wouldn’t ignore the red light on our car’s fuel gauge!

Women think Self-Care is selfish…

Our emotional tank runs cry with work stress, family stress and life in general. We fill our emotional tank by doing things to care for ourselves; by having good Self Care. I’m sad to say when I talk to women about filling their emotional tank, they often look at me blankly. They have truly forgotten what makes them feel good. They have been so conditioned to care for everyone else they have forgotten to care for themselves and have even been taught that Self Care is selfish. But Self Care is not selfish, it’s essential!

Now it’s important to note, that Self Care doesn’t just happen. You have to be intentional. It has to become part of your everyday life.

Self care is more than a bubble bath…

And it’s also important to note, that Self Care is not just having a bubble bath every now and then. Don’t get me wrong, I love bubble baths, but good Self Care is more than that.

It’s caring for yourself in all areas of your life.

Here is a S.T.E.P.S to Self Care table which outlines the advantages of healthy Self Care, the consequences of neglecting Self Care and a few ideas on how to care for yourself in each area.

If you would like some help to manage your family and work stress and design a Self Care plan for your life, please contact me at Honni Hayton Counselling.


Honni Hayton Counsellor

About Honni Hayton

A qualified, practicing counsellor, Honni Hayton has been helping people live their best life for over 20 years. She specialises in providing women’s counselling services, both in person and online. She also provides relationship counselling to help couples find happiness again.